Has Algorithmic Bias Crept into Non-Digital Life?

The younger generations are very much focused on their trauma and feelings. I am not saying it is a bad thing but have we reached a tipping point? Have we lost all ability to cope? Are we curating our lives to a level of safety that I would equate to walking through life with blinders. Are we all safely ensconced in bubble wrap? If we all surround ourselves with perfect clones of ourselves that meet our exact behavioural criteria, are we truly living? In my opinion, we are not. Bonjour Tristesse! Goodbye personal development.

Yes, of course everyone should feel heard, loved and deeply satisfied in everything they do and meet. But there is also a reality and reality is that life ain’t always a walk in the park and that opinions differ at times. I argue we cannot, and should not, curate our lives to be friction free and smooth because our learning curve will probably flat line. In addition, what fun would that be? We all need a Larry David* in our lives. Maybe even two. For shits and giggles, try three.

I say above tongue in cheek but I do think there is some truth to it and that we are applying algorithmic bias to our feelings. When someone does not feel heard or received exactly how they want to be met today, the first reaction is to cancel and unfriend in order to remove the friction from their lives. On a larger scale, this has led to an incredible polarisation across the globe. On a personal note, I got cancelled before Christmas by a friend due to, in her opinion, not responding correctly to the Gaza Crisis.  Are we living in a world that is not equipped to accommodate dialogue anymore?

There is a Swedish saying “similar kids, play best” and I agree, this is true. However, my deepest lessons in life and richest relationships have been with friends where our dissimilarities far outweigh our similarities. One of my most fabulous relationships is with a woman we can refer to as "Kiki". Kiki and I are polar opposites but she is one of my most favourite people in the whole wide world. I sometimes laugh so hard when we talk that I fear peeing my pants. We met when we were 17 and 33 years later, the love is still real. Kiki is an environmentalist that truly not only talks the talk but also walks the walk. In her eyes, I am likely a disaster and an example of what is wrong with the world. Kiki has tried to educate me and change my habits for years. I have listened and learned. She has been patient and at times she has bugged the living shit out of me. However, I am a much better human today vs 10 years ago but I am a work in progress. Kiki could have cancelled me several times during our friendship as I know how deeply she feels about people not doing their part. Instead she kept the dialogue going. I think we both are richer for it.

In closing, my theory is that few people have hate in their heart. Most of the time hearts are filled with fear that manifests as shit behaviour. I had to remind myself of this during Covid and vaccination polarisation. My hope is for more grace and less algorithmic bias transferred into real life. I am truly working on that whilst reminding myself on the daily that very little is about me. For someone intrinsically tangled up in myself, the reminder is necessary. I also probably repeat “not your monkey, not your circus” about 10 times per day in order to NOT become Larry David* on steroids. Some days I am more successful than others. Caveat for all of above: All of this can be applied to most things minus narcissists and truly toxic people, those are perfectly fine to tell to fuck all the way off. Let life's algorithm take care of them.

*For those of who are not "Curb Your Enthusiasm" fans, you are missing out. If you change one thing today, change that. Streaming on HBO as we speak.