I was walking and talking with a friend recently. She has just started a new business and wanted advice on how to market herself. As a marketer I had a million ideas which I spitfired at her in the woods. Any idea that required her to show her “sparkle” was shot down. Finally, I said, “my assessment is that you do not want to show the world what I find most charming about you and what I deem to be your USP. Why do you not want to show it to the world?” Turns out her Achilles complex was what I found most fascinating about her.
It made me start questioning if I too am dimming the wrong light. Am I pushing down what is my ultimate “sparkle”? I do not think so, not anymore at least. But for many years I stifled my off the wall humor since it was not palatable in most social situations. Instead of repressing my sparkle, I simply swapped out those social situations where I could not be myself. Most people I call and reach while they are in the car still nervously say “you are on speaker and I have people in the car” but they pick up. They pick up.
I have talked about “the sparkle” at length with my daughter. I have drilled into her how important it is to surround herself with people that see her “sparkle”. What do I mean by “the sparkle”? To me it means what makes you uniquely you, the first thing that comes to mind when someone is to describe you. The thing that make your loved ones smile and shake their head. My twisted humor that can be delivered at a pin’s drop is my “sparkle” or as my therapist keeps wanting to label it…. “a trauma response”. Whatever. I love that about me.
So, what awesome light of yours are you dimming? And, do you really to dim that light?
It's so true, I constantly check my motives for avoiding stepping into a world, usually it is fear of judgement. C Jung talks about our shadows, but Buddhism also refers to our golden shadow, which is our potentiality that we avoid due to residual karma, i.e. unhealed and unresolved aspects of our shadows.