Last time I went to therapy was a minute ago (2020) so after losing my positive mojo this fall, I decided it was time to return to the analysis. I am of the school that if something is not ideal, fix it. So, I am fixing it. I was also quite sick of myself. This like never happens. I get easily sick of others but never of myself.
Fall 2023, I had slipped into a non-dynamic attitude and only saw problems and few solutions. It was not cute. My big kids referred to it as a “cult of one”. The ick feeling was dominating me. I sat and wallowed in my own shit for a bit and then I dug deep and pulled out my fighting spirit. I was 50 years old and I could become a bitter whiner or find my sparkle again, I chose the latter.
I started by returning to therapy in search of the tools I apparently had lost along the way. I deemed my biggest issues to be being WAY too judgemental and a lack of acceptance about the fact that I actually have a chronic illness. But now I am on the fence. The more I delve into this, the less I want to lose my Larry Davidesque super judgmental power. I am THAT good at it and I have opinions on oh so many things.
It really hit home when my therapist asked me “Torun, what do you lose by being judgemental?”. I was like “hmmm, it bums me out when my kids get hurt when I am too strong in my opinions but other than that it is a great weeder outer of people who are not my people”. And that my friend was one of the first things I did in order to find my magic, I minimised my exposure to “the statics”. The people whom I had listened to and let into my energy field with non-dynamic thinking.
The complete list of how I reset my mindset:
Return to therapy
Minimising exposure to “the statics”. The ones that simply do not give me the juice. To be clear, I am not talking about friends whom are in a bad spot or cannot see the forest through the trees for a bit, I am talking about the people who are not interested in change. Not interested in evolving. The ones that complain year in and year out and do jack shit to change their situation. The ones whose mindset is always “I cannot" vs "let me figure out a solution”. That is what “static” means to me.
Daily walks
Strict routines around eating, sleeping and reading
For me it is really simple, routines are key and what energy I let in just as critical. I had spent significant time in MM’s smaller village where dynamic thinking is a rarity. I let the static get too close. I now have two regular scheduled Zoom dates with my people back on the schedule. I am taking bookings for the record. So, if I do not reach out to you, reach out to me. Mel Robbins podcast this week reiterated my strategy of late as she asked her listeners to return to a time when they were happy. She then said to try to duplicate key factors from that time. Totally made sense to me and that was exactly what I put into play this spring without knowing what I was doing. What are your hacks for flipping and reversing it when you get sick of yourself?
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