Is the Art of Listening Extinct?

I have someone in my life that has the memory of a goldfish and no, they do not have dementia. This person never remembers anything about anyone else because they do not listen. They interrupt and I can literally see on their face as they are waiting for the time to interrupt and spew their take on things or segue to a topic that they find more interesting. Sometimes they do not wait for the lull, they just “spew”. During my last lunch with this person I reached my limit and said not once, but twice, “Excuse me I was speaking and you are interrupting me”, the second time they got up from the table and departed.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to talk and I have opinions about nearly every topic imaginable. However, I  am also a very curious person. So curious, that during riding camp in 1983 my award for the week was not “Best Jumper” but “Best Eavesdropper”. Every night the camp leaders would meet and set the agenda for the following day. I was really tiny so I could fit into the smallest spaces. I would hide outside of the office in the stable and try to hear the 411 so I could share with my home girls and prepare myself accordingly. If you are constantly talking, you are not learning.

I think of all the things I would not have learned if I did not listen. The people I would not know beyond the superficial, new views not pondered upon and the worlds I would not have traversed. In AA there is a saying that really stuck “If you spot it, you got it”. So I had to ask myself if I am annoyed by said person because I am also an interrupter? In my origin family there were two “monologists”. If a current interest was cod, chocolate or Argentinian tango, watch out the monologues would pepper you until you never wanted to know a thing about those topics. If someone was bored on a dog walk, the call would come and the “spew” would ensue. Good luck getting a word in edgewise, it was impossible. As a result I grew quiet, there was no other way if peace was to be kept. So, I know it is in my DNA and I am monitoring myself carefully as a result. Add it to my list of fears…# 324: Being a static interrupting non-learner. Since Mr. R, my dog, is the recipient of my monologues is this why he is going deaf? Am I the asshole in my own story?