I met a fellow TCK this week. I liked her immediately and I think she also felt the same about me. I showed her a house and by the third room we were rabbling off the usual TCK questions to determine the inflection of dialect, various tenures in different countries and we had an instant rapport. I "instaliked" her.
Part of the TCK persona is having a hard time belonging. We traverse different cultures like chameleons and belong to none. As a young woman in my twenties I truly felt there was something wrong with me, I never quite fit in. In Europe I felt American and in America I felt VERY European. Then I read Ruth van Reken’s book during my MBA and it finally all came together for me. It was not me, it was simply being a TCK.
Characteristics of a TCK, beyond seldom belonging, are:
Romanticised periods of their lives that are tied to a place. For me this was Djursholm in Sweden, the last place that I associated with Sweden. Not until I was an adult, did I realise that Djursholm is far from being a typical reflection of Sweden.
Restlessness. If you dated me in my Twenties, you got the “talk” by me around date three that basically spelled out “don’t get too attached, I am moving to London shortly.” I never moved to London. Until 2003, I had never lived in a place, had a relationship or had a job longer than 3 years. That was my limit.
Ability to make new friends in 20 minutes. I can make a friend anywhere, anytime and anyplace.
I never moved to London. I have owned a house for 15 years. I have owned and run my company for 20 years and I seldom feel like I do not belong. The magic sauce? I found other TCKs that fill my life. I tend to find them wherever I go. My eclectic group of “my people” fill my life with laughter but most importantly, they fill me with belonging.
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